I have been a writer all my life but pretty much only at work. When cancer struck two weeks ago, I found words tossing around in my brain as I woke in the morning and from the many naps I am already taking. So I decided to blog.

The title? Damn it, I have things I want to do and a little rectal cancer is not going to get in the way. I will be healed, ASAP.

News from Hell

What I thought was a garden-variety hemorrhoid bothered me for several months before my surgeon suggested doing a biopsy. With that word, the Earth stopped spinning for a second. It is a word everyone dreads but there it was. I am a practical sort and tried to be rational and reasonable about life for the next few days. But when the pathology results came back positive, I confess I wailed for a few minutes.

Life immediately became a whirlwind of bone scan (negative), CT and PET scans (which showed lymph node involvement in the left groin), blood work, etc. A central port for chemo was installed near my right shoulder, and I had initial appointments with the radiological oncologist. Chemo and radiation will begin on August 11 or August 18. Radiation treatment requires more planning and will be the driver for the start date.

Retirement—or Not

Innisfree Garden, Millbrook, NY
June 2014

I awoke this morning, August 1, with the thought that today was to have been the start of retirement. Freedom, midweek days in the garden, visits to granddaughter Jessica and her family in Spokane, leisurely trips—again on weekdays—to museums in San Francisco, more frequent trips to New York to visit Dan and Aimee and wallow in the wonderfulness of NYC and environs. This retirement date had been planned since May. But it was not to be.

Instead, I started disability leave on July 29. The good news is that chemo and radiation will only last 5 or 6 weeks before re-evaluation. Cross your fingers for good news!!